Seeing God is hard for some. For me, I have learned to ask to see His hand in my life and in the life of my family and those around us. Over the summer I have been praying about my schedule and activities would could do in the upcoming school year. We were in a co-op for 7years and when I prayed about doing it this upcoming year, God said no. Since I was just getting my feet wet alongside my husband in our newly formed marriage ministry I figured that I would need that free time for ministry. I had the opportunity for an online co-op that I felt was very doable since we would not leave the house and I would only be committed to teaching 4-6 of 36 lessons. That was doable. But, once again I was thrown a curve. God said no. So we dropped the co-op. Once again I was trusting that God knew my future and He was not going to allow me to overwhelm myself. Then, we opened up a very successful marriage class and NO ONE signed up (well, one couple who was training for ministry did). This was very confusing. Now I had lots of free time on my hands. Since I thought the Lord was clearing my schedule for ministry and other circumstances that would take my time I had worked on getting my house in order and school planning through Jan. I am usually a "wing-it" kind of person so this was very unusual for me. So, now my house was in order, school planned, lots of free time but, no ministry, no outside committments, no....anything. But I did trust the Lord though I did ask Him if it was within His will to show me what He was doing. Well, He did. He know that I was going to have a very sick child that I would need to be home with for some time. What a joy to be allowed to see a small part of His plan for us. He knew what was coming and prepared me in as much as I was willing to be obedient to Him.
So what about the "Rejoice in your sufferings"? This is such a hard concept for people to grasp. It has taken many hospitalizations and hardaches for me to begin to grasp this concept. But God truly is good and knows what is best for us.
I have always prayed that my children would learn to know God deeply and intimately. I know that for me that has taken many physical hardships for me to grow in Him. When J was admitted to the hospital I began to pray that she would grow and mature in the Lord through this trial and that she would be able to experience God. I prayed that I would be able to help her see God's hand and presence throughout all she went through. It was a tough week. Time after time she was afraid. Time after time, she asked to pray. We listened to christian music on Godtube. We quoted scripture to help her reach out and trust God's hand. J went from a happy-go-lucky teen one day to a very sick, in pain, and frightened young lady the next. She was given very little notification for some pretty scary tests and surgery. No time to prepare, fearful of the unknown, tired, worn out and in pain. But, she trusted the experience God had given me over the years with hospitalizations and surgery. At every turn I knew her only hope for getting through this was focusing on Jesus. So at every turn I pointed her to Him. She showed such strength of character as she was so frightened but cried out to God. She sought prayer, comfort in songs that reminded her that God would never leave her or forsake her. She questioned God but never in disrespect, only in confusion with a willingness to accept His will.
There truly are very few ways to learn to lean on God except in those circumstances that test you physically, emotionally and spiritually.
I watched my daughter cling to the Lord and learn to trust in a way that only suffering can truly bring. It broke my heart to watch her go through this. But the Lord let my heart soar as she clung to Him.
Watching your child in pain and frightened and exhausted when you cannot do anything to stop it is more pain than I ever care to bear again. But, I can rejoice in my suffering as I saw her get one step closer to God. I pray that she will one day truly be able to rejoice through her struggles in life though I pray they are minimal.
There is so much in which I can rejoice. God was with her through this whole ordeal and showed us His fingerprints over and over again. His Spirit was prompting me from the beginning and we caught this early. I can't imagine what it would have been like had I ignored those promptings. I am thankful that I was listening because I don't always. But I was listening this time because He had been preparing me for over a year to listen more closely. His hand is everywhere if we are willing to look for it. Thank you Lord that you were patient enough to help me learn to see. Thank you that you are letting me see a glimpse of how you are working in J.
God truly is so good. All the Time!
Showing posts with label ponderings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ponderings. Show all posts
Monday, September 08, 2008
Saturday, June 28, 2008
The Bible in 90 Days. It is finished!
June 28, 2008
I have just had the most amazing 90 days. I was challenged to read the Bible in 90 days. When this was first proposed I had to think on it awhile because I am a student of the Word. I like to read, study, research, define and just dig deep when I read the Bible. Doing this in 90 days did not make this possible but, I decided I would try. Afterall, there have been many a time that I have read a huge novel in no time and asked myself why I hadn't just read the Bible straight through. So, my journey began on March 31, 2008.
There were days that I began reading and ended up lost in thought. I would have to go back an reread a passage or two. There were days I read and was amazed at the connections I was able to make as I read through book after book in the Bible. Reading the 4 gospels back to back was a very interesting experience. Getting to know Paul better as I read each of his books back to back has given me many things to think through and mull over.
Today I finished my study by reading straight through the book of Revelations. How awesome it is to see God's hand and the end of the story. A story of fallen people who are redeemed by a loving God who is faithful to His promises and is victorious in the end. I found myself in tears as I saw the loving hand of our God end the torment of the saints. Tears also flowed as His glory was revealed in the human terms that are just a shadow of the reality of God. I then found myself face down in prayer and praise to our awesome God, in humble submission that He would even consider me to enter His eternal rest, that He made me worthy to be reconciled to Him through the death of His son. How can I be humbled, exalted, rejoicing, ashamed, awed and in tears all at the same time?
I issure forth this challenge to you all. Not that you accomplish reading the bible in 90 days (though I recommend it), but that you seek His Word that you might come to know Him more, that if you have not made Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior that you seek to find Him and the promise of salvation that comes only through Him.
I will end simply with the end of the book....
He who testifies to these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon."
Amen, Come Lord Jesus.
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen.
Revelations 22:20-21
I have just had the most amazing 90 days. I was challenged to read the Bible in 90 days. When this was first proposed I had to think on it awhile because I am a student of the Word. I like to read, study, research, define and just dig deep when I read the Bible. Doing this in 90 days did not make this possible but, I decided I would try. Afterall, there have been many a time that I have read a huge novel in no time and asked myself why I hadn't just read the Bible straight through. So, my journey began on March 31, 2008.
There were days that I began reading and ended up lost in thought. I would have to go back an reread a passage or two. There were days I read and was amazed at the connections I was able to make as I read through book after book in the Bible. Reading the 4 gospels back to back was a very interesting experience. Getting to know Paul better as I read each of his books back to back has given me many things to think through and mull over.
Today I finished my study by reading straight through the book of Revelations. How awesome it is to see God's hand and the end of the story. A story of fallen people who are redeemed by a loving God who is faithful to His promises and is victorious in the end. I found myself in tears as I saw the loving hand of our God end the torment of the saints. Tears also flowed as His glory was revealed in the human terms that are just a shadow of the reality of God. I then found myself face down in prayer and praise to our awesome God, in humble submission that He would even consider me to enter His eternal rest, that He made me worthy to be reconciled to Him through the death of His son. How can I be humbled, exalted, rejoicing, ashamed, awed and in tears all at the same time?
I issure forth this challenge to you all. Not that you accomplish reading the bible in 90 days (though I recommend it), but that you seek His Word that you might come to know Him more, that if you have not made Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior that you seek to find Him and the promise of salvation that comes only through Him.
I will end simply with the end of the book....
He who testifies to these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon."
Amen, Come Lord Jesus.
The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen.
Revelations 22:20-21
Thursday, June 12, 2008
God's Little Confirmations
One of my constant prayers for my children is that they know Christ. Not that they believe there is a God or even just believe in Christ or that He is the Son of God, but that they know Him personally and interact with Him. As I watch my children grow I wonder if they are truly getting to know Him and trust Him and have a deep relationship with Him. I don't want my children to "have religion", I want them to KNOW Christ.
As I watch them grow in their faith I pray that their faith is their own. I ask God to show me. In His faithfulness He does. This is what He gave me recently from my youngest dd. She recently was at a youth group retreat where they sang the song "I Want to Sing You a Love Song". She shared with me that she physically felt Jesus next to her. She said she tried to tell others but they just did not understand. I told her I understood and then she told me she had written something that she felt the Spirit had led her to write. I only wish you could hear her read this as I can feel her heart as she reads it.
I stopped, trembling, before a huge, golden gate. The pearls set into it gleamed like diamonds. I stepped forward, hearing singing from within. “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty. Who Was, and Is, and Is To Come.” The gate swung slowly inwards, making no sound, not even a whisper. A man stepped through, garbed in glowing white. My breath caught. He smiled warmly.
“Welcome, Brother! I am Peter.” I stared transfixed as he led me into Heaven. We walked together through rooms of gold and jewels, down a street made of gold bricks-which was lined with beautiful houses-and up to the ornate doors of a huge room.
Peter smiled encouragingly when I faltered, and then, turning, he walked away. Hesitantly, I pushed open the doors.
I was surrounded by brilliant Light and a warm Voice saying, “Welcome, Child.” I stepped forward, and then fell to my knees. Before me stood a man, His face the very picture of Love. His deep eyes were filled with more passion than I could comprehend. His face was too beautiful for words. His voice was enough to make you feel like if you had ceased to exist at that moment, you would have done it willingly, because your life had been fulfilled.
A song that I used to sing in church came to mind. I Want to Sing You a Love Song… I knew He could hear my thoughts. For You are the Thief of my heart… I pressed my face to the ground. Rhythm and Rhyme try to describe it. No matter how hard I try, I can’t hide it… I was wracked with involuntary tremors as His Light washed over me.
Faithful, You are Faithful… I spoke out loud. “ But I’ve turned my back on You so many times.” …I have found nothing but good in Your Heart… “Search me, Lord. I’m unclean.” …Loving, You are loving. I am in love with the way that You are… “And I’ve been so hateful.” …Thankful, I am thankful… “Not thankful, Lord. Ungrateful.”
…I had been running away on my own… “I’ve turned my back on You so many times, Lord, and you always took me back.” …And then You found me… “You searched for me incessantly, Lord.” …Oh, how You love me… “Why, Lord? Why?” …I know You’ll never leave me alone... “When I left You so many times?”
A warm Laughter emanated from the all-consuming Light. “Child, I died for you. How could I not love you?” I looked up into His loving face. “Why did you die for me?” The Lord pulled me into an embrace that I felt I could stay in forever. His answer told me I could. “Because I made you.”
There is no greater joy than for me to see my children knowing God.
As I watch them grow in their faith I pray that their faith is their own. I ask God to show me. In His faithfulness He does. This is what He gave me recently from my youngest dd. She recently was at a youth group retreat where they sang the song "I Want to Sing You a Love Song". She shared with me that she physically felt Jesus next to her. She said she tried to tell others but they just did not understand. I told her I understood and then she told me she had written something that she felt the Spirit had led her to write. I only wish you could hear her read this as I can feel her heart as she reads it.
I stopped, trembling, before a huge, golden gate. The pearls set into it gleamed like diamonds. I stepped forward, hearing singing from within. “Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty. Who Was, and Is, and Is To Come.” The gate swung slowly inwards, making no sound, not even a whisper. A man stepped through, garbed in glowing white. My breath caught. He smiled warmly.
“Welcome, Brother! I am Peter.” I stared transfixed as he led me into Heaven. We walked together through rooms of gold and jewels, down a street made of gold bricks-which was lined with beautiful houses-and up to the ornate doors of a huge room.
Peter smiled encouragingly when I faltered, and then, turning, he walked away. Hesitantly, I pushed open the doors.
I was surrounded by brilliant Light and a warm Voice saying, “Welcome, Child.” I stepped forward, and then fell to my knees. Before me stood a man, His face the very picture of Love. His deep eyes were filled with more passion than I could comprehend. His face was too beautiful for words. His voice was enough to make you feel like if you had ceased to exist at that moment, you would have done it willingly, because your life had been fulfilled.
A song that I used to sing in church came to mind. I Want to Sing You a Love Song… I knew He could hear my thoughts. For You are the Thief of my heart… I pressed my face to the ground. Rhythm and Rhyme try to describe it. No matter how hard I try, I can’t hide it… I was wracked with involuntary tremors as His Light washed over me.
Faithful, You are Faithful… I spoke out loud. “ But I’ve turned my back on You so many times.” …I have found nothing but good in Your Heart… “Search me, Lord. I’m unclean.” …Loving, You are loving. I am in love with the way that You are… “And I’ve been so hateful.” …Thankful, I am thankful… “Not thankful, Lord. Ungrateful.”
…I had been running away on my own… “I’ve turned my back on You so many times, Lord, and you always took me back.” …And then You found me… “You searched for me incessantly, Lord.” …Oh, how You love me… “Why, Lord? Why?” …I know You’ll never leave me alone... “When I left You so many times?”
A warm Laughter emanated from the all-consuming Light. “Child, I died for you. How could I not love you?” I looked up into His loving face. “Why did you die for me?” The Lord pulled me into an embrace that I felt I could stay in forever. His answer told me I could. “Because I made you.”
There is no greater joy than for me to see my children knowing God.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Big Girls Don't Whine
Today for the first time in a long time I was just grumpy. I had to fight my irritability at every turn. Sometimes I succeeded, others I did not. I have been tired all day and, well, just plain grumpy. When all the kids were in bed and Phillip off to work I decided to catch up on some work on the computer and this just jumped out at me. It is a list of what it means to be a "Big Girl" as opposed to a "Little Girl" from the book titled Big Girls Don't Whine . Today I fought to be a "Big Girl". I hate to confess this about myself but it is true. I was aware of my grumpiness which led to selfishness and fought it all day. For the most part, I succeeded. As I read this I laughed and sighed. I showed qualities of both a Little Girl and a Big Girl today. I think we all know those who struggle with being the "Little Girl" most of the time. If you recognize this to be you, don't despair. There is also a list of what it means to be a Big Girl. Read it and be glad! But, I thought I would pass this along as food for thought for those days that we have to battle our own selfishness, those days that our "Little Girl" battles to come out. I think I will keep this list handy in case "one of those days" creeps up again.
From the book titled, Big Girls Don’t Whine. Here are a few excepts from the book.
The Big Girl knows that her capacity to think is her greatest asset. Mature thinking produces mature living, and of course childish thinking produces childish living. You have only to stop and observe how the children you know think, and you will see the problem.
A Big Girl is consistent in the way she responds. You don’t have to wonder what she will do or say. You don’t have to worry on pins and needles about what kind of mood she will be in. You know what you can count on where a Big Girl is concerned.
That characteristic sets the Big Girl apart from a Little Girl. Unlike the Big Girl, the Little Girl is inconsistent in her responses to life and people. Moodiness, self-absorption, and fragile emotions characterize the Little Girl. As a consequence, one really can’t know what to expect from her-except the unexpected.
Children (little girls) don’t think things through to their natural conclusion. They see only what is immediate.
They don’t think about how their actions will affect others.
They are unable to see more than one side to any situation.
They take things personally. “She hurt my feelings.”
They really like it best when “it’s all about me.”
They are better manipulators than negotiators. They learn early how to manipulate and whom to manipulate.
They like fairy tales where good guys always win, bad guys always lose, and everyone lives happily ever after.
They tire easily and allow fatigue to affect their general attitude and demeanor.
They do not know what is best for them, although they may protest loudly when they fail to get what they want.
Here are some ways to challenge your thinking as a Big Girl in process.
Big girls think things through to their natural conclusion. They see not only the present but the future as well.
Big girls think about how their actions will affect others.
Big girls can see more than one side to any situation.
Big girls don’t take things personally.
Big girls understand that life is never “all about me.”
Big girls are good, fair, and reasonable negotiators.
Big girls may like fairy tales, but they like true stories, too, and are well aware of the difference.
Big girls may tire, but they don’t allow their fatigue to control their general attitude and demeanor.
Big girls know what is best for them and are disciplined enough to go after it.
Big Girls overlook transgressions. They don’t spend a lot of time on the little stuff. They cut each other a lot of slack. Big Girls take the high road.
Other chapters cover: How a Big Girl speaks, Wisdom for Big Girl Wives, Savvy for Big Girl Moms, Freedom for Big Girl friends, Courage for Big Girls facing conflict, Stability for Big Girls in Crisis and Leaving a Godly legacy.
In reality I think it comes down to living by the Spirit or living in the flesh.
My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?
Galatians:16-18
From the book titled, Big Girls Don’t Whine. Here are a few excepts from the book.
The Big Girl knows that her capacity to think is her greatest asset. Mature thinking produces mature living, and of course childish thinking produces childish living. You have only to stop and observe how the children you know think, and you will see the problem.
A Big Girl is consistent in the way she responds. You don’t have to wonder what she will do or say. You don’t have to worry on pins and needles about what kind of mood she will be in. You know what you can count on where a Big Girl is concerned.
That characteristic sets the Big Girl apart from a Little Girl. Unlike the Big Girl, the Little Girl is inconsistent in her responses to life and people. Moodiness, self-absorption, and fragile emotions characterize the Little Girl. As a consequence, one really can’t know what to expect from her-except the unexpected.
Children (little girls) don’t think things through to their natural conclusion. They see only what is immediate.
They don’t think about how their actions will affect others.
They are unable to see more than one side to any situation.
They take things personally. “She hurt my feelings.”
They really like it best when “it’s all about me.”
They are better manipulators than negotiators. They learn early how to manipulate and whom to manipulate.
They like fairy tales where good guys always win, bad guys always lose, and everyone lives happily ever after.
They tire easily and allow fatigue to affect their general attitude and demeanor.
They do not know what is best for them, although they may protest loudly when they fail to get what they want.
Here are some ways to challenge your thinking as a Big Girl in process.
Big girls think things through to their natural conclusion. They see not only the present but the future as well.
Big girls think about how their actions will affect others.
Big girls can see more than one side to any situation.
Big girls don’t take things personally.
Big girls understand that life is never “all about me.”
Big girls are good, fair, and reasonable negotiators.
Big girls may like fairy tales, but they like true stories, too, and are well aware of the difference.
Big girls may tire, but they don’t allow their fatigue to control their general attitude and demeanor.
Big girls know what is best for them and are disciplined enough to go after it.
Big Girls overlook transgressions. They don’t spend a lot of time on the little stuff. They cut each other a lot of slack. Big Girls take the high road.
Other chapters cover: How a Big Girl speaks, Wisdom for Big Girl Wives, Savvy for Big Girl Moms, Freedom for Big Girl friends, Courage for Big Girls facing conflict, Stability for Big Girls in Crisis and Leaving a Godly legacy.
In reality I think it comes down to living by the Spirit or living in the flesh.
My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don’t you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?
Galatians:16-18
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Resurrection Celebration AKA Easter
Recently I read that Halloween is the most profitable holiday next to Christmas with no other holidays even coming close. Why is this? More and more I see little ones dressed in the costumes of nightmares or little girls dressed very seductively or terrifying slasher movies. It is interesting what a culture chooses to value and what is chooses to ignore.
Tomorrow is the day set aside to remember the Resurrection of our Lord. The day that took all of mankind, who was separated from God by sin, and gave them a way to be reunited to Him. A miracle occurred. Death was conquered. A path was made to God. Hope was restored to a lost world. There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. There should be no greater celebration than this day. The day that
"God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life".
There is no greater love than a man should lay down his life for another. Do you know this love? It can be yours. Our hope does not come from a crucified Savior but from an empty tomb.
Death is conquered. Sin is forgiven. Hope is restored if you believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Our joy comes because He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed! Celebrate with me!
Tomorrow is the day set aside to remember the Resurrection of our Lord. The day that took all of mankind, who was separated from God by sin, and gave them a way to be reunited to Him. A miracle occurred. Death was conquered. A path was made to God. Hope was restored to a lost world. There is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. There should be no greater celebration than this day. The day that
"God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life".
There is no greater love than a man should lay down his life for another. Do you know this love? It can be yours. Our hope does not come from a crucified Savior but from an empty tomb.
Death is conquered. Sin is forgiven. Hope is restored if you believe on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Our joy comes because He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed! Celebrate with me!
Thursday, March 20, 2008
The First Day of Spring
"If spring came but once a century instead of once a year, or burst forth with the sound of an earthquake and not in silence, what wonder and expectation there would be in all hearts to behold the miraculous change. " -- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Today is the first day of Spring. I have always seen Spring as the miraculous change noted above. Spring brings newness of life to the earth.
My husband says I am a plant. In the winter months I wither. I want to curl up and not move. Anytime the sun breaks through and shines through the windows I am drawn to it. I can be sagging along but walk through a ray of sunshine and be drawn to it like a flower. When spring comes I come alive. I have far more energy and joy just radiates from me. So, I celebrate this first day of Spring even if it is from my bedroom as I recover.
But Spring means more to me than just a superficial newness of life. It is my life's blood as it reminds me of the new life that Christ brought to us all. In Roman's 1:20
it states...
For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.
The seasons speak the Good News of God. It shows the death of so many things in the winter but then in the dawning of Spring it reminds us of how death is overcome. Death is not the end it is simply the step before the newness of life. It is when our true life begins.
So many things come alive in Spring. So many long for spring to come. In Christ we can have the eternal Spring that brings life to all who call on His name as Lord and Savior. So, let us open our eyes to the invisible qualities of God that can be seen in this new season. It is the sun that brings newness of life back to plants. It is the Son that brings newness of life back to me.
Below are a few more spring quotes that I received in my email this morning. I thought I would share them with you.
"Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world."-- Virgil A. Kraft
"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."-- Anne Bradstreet
How true this quote is. It is in our struggles and trials that we are able to see the blessings and prosperity that we truly have.
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